About to break
by neko-in-blue
Summary: Brotherhood Universe. Set after "The future we hold together" A new mother's fears


She woke up suddenly. The dark eyes opened as she felt the emptiness of her stomach. The moonlight coming from the windows helped her to see the little boy sleeping deeply, between her and Alphonse, who was also asleep. He was crying on his crib earlier, so they decided to put him on their bed, after being breastfed. Her heart started to slow down, as seeing him confortable and close.

Mei knew she was expecting a boy. Lee had his father's features and Mei wished he had his kindness too. He would be a genius, like him and she would have a hard time taking them out from the library and would ask him not to read while having a meal. Her son was going to be tall and gorgeous and the girls would fight for him someday. And he would fall in love, marrying someone that would make him happy and they would be grandparents. She felt tight on her troat, as those plans of an entire future filled her mind.

Mei's touched his tiny fingers. That child was created from two people that were supposed to be dead, countless times. How many plans Mei's mother had done for her and her sisters, along with their father? How many dreams Trisha and Hohenheim had for Alphonse and Edward, before their wishes were turned to ashes, trown into a darkness of sadness and pain?

Mei's free fingertips softly reached Alphonse's sleeping face. His lips were slight open, his handsome features relaxed. The up and down of his naked chest. She was so young, hot-tempered and foolish. Being a warrior, the Emperor's bodyguard, she could die during an attack, trying to protect her brother's or his family's life. And for the first time, she was completely terrified. And Alphonse, who was supposed to be the smartest one, went against his own good, had fallen in love, married her and put a poor child on her belly. He held her hand while the first months of pregnancy made her trown up everything. His voice was calm and sweet as always, as she trown trantuns. His body and love words always available as the hormones would make her horny on lunchtime or waking him up in the middle of the night, after a long work day, to satisfy her needs. She was selfish. He had endured those long, long 9-months. And she didnt deserve him.

Tears poured from her eyes and she closed them. She didnt know motherhood could have such a crushing weight. Even being so in love by her child's father, Mei didnt know it was possible to feel even more. Being a mother was reconstrucitng herself, putting Lee's needs first. That little boy embodied their love and devotion to each other. Lee was a living proof that they were survivors. He was so so much precious.

She touched her husband's hand and squeeze it, silently asking for strenght. The fear she had tried so much to hide inside was finally there. More than the childbirth that happened some weeks ago, the feeling on her chest was pushing her heart and lungs on the walls of her body. He was outside now. She couldnt protect him like before. And there were so many things that could harm him.

Worried, sleepy-looking golden eyes were on her, as she couldnt hold her sobbing anymore. Alphonse's free hand was on her face.

- Mei?

- Take care of him. - her voice was low and trembling.

- What's wrong?

- Please... - she looked at him, her beautiful face full of sorrow. - ...if something happens to me. Promise you will take good care of our child. Raise him to be honorable and good. Teach him math, Xingnese and other school subjects. And Alkahestry too. Tell him to respect his grandmother, even though she is so serious. Tell him to be good to his cousins and share his toys.

Alphonse wanted to pull her close, but doing so would disturb the baby. She muffled her cry biting her lips and tears were falling freely.

He kissed his wife's hands with all the caring and sweetness he was able to, wishing those bad feelings would go away.

- I will take care of him. - he smiled at her. - Together with you. Nothing bad is going to happen.

- You cant say that. After all we have been through... we can lose everything, in a blink of an eye.

- So... Im very lucky. - he touched a dark lock of her hair gently. - I have everything I wished for. When it was dark beyond the gate and things seemed hopeless, I wished for everything we have nowdays. I wished for my body back, for Brother's and Winry's happiness and for everyone to be at peace. And I wished to see you again. Now we are here. Remember what you told me the night he was born? He is going to be fine. - Alphonse's hand covered the baby's belly. - We are fine. We worked really hard for it. We deserve it.

- Alphonse...

- You're always saying I chose you, but Im the one who was really blessed. I had nothing before you, Mei. You made me a man, a husband, a father. - his eyes were full of love. - Even if I had never retuned on that day, I was glad for meeting you. Im certain that there's no one else I could share my life with.

Before she could say anything, Lee stretch himself and rolled to his mother's side, his little fingers holding her hand. He seemed really comfortable and safe feeling Mei's warth close. She embrace her son, kissing the top of his head.

- See? He already knows his mother is the best at protecting him.

- Thank you, Alphonse. - she looked at him, the cloud of sadness and worries had disappeared from her beautiful eyes. He stood up and went to her side of the bed, laying there.

- It's late. Let's sleep. - he kissed Mei's neck and whispered. - Have good dreams.

Lee was sleeping on her chest and she could feel Alphonse's heartbeat on her back.

Yeah, she was about to break apart. There were so many demanding roles for her to deal with. And the worries about the future she couldnt control would always be on her mind.

But, at that moment, she smiled to herself, allowing to feel happy, smelling the scent of her baby's silky hair as her husband's held them close.


End file.
